happy song ; nothing's wrong. it's all fun, & i'm all numb.

it's getting difficult not to get my hopes up.
it's one of those things that happens every few months,
i have a good day, someone knows people, and numbers are exchanged.

then i wait.

i wonder.

i wait a little more.

i move on.

nothing happens.

this time, though, there's been some follow-through.
there's been legitimate follow-through, as well as evidence that people are actually known.

i waited, i wondered, and then i realized i'd been waiting longer than i needed to wait.
there was already something happening, and i had no idea.

now i don't know what to do.

if 2009 is as long as 2007 and 2008 were, it's quite possible things might actually happen this year.
i used to blame it on things that were out of control, but now everything seems like it might be within reach sometime soon.
it's kind of up to me now, and i can't help but feel unprepared since i never thought it would get to this level.

***

nothing's wrong, everything's okay. i'm a blank slate these days.
i have plenty of things against me, but it's a classic "things can only get worse before they can get better."
things are probably going to get better now, because i've realized that i have to make them get better.
no one's going to make them get better for me.
that's okay, though. i'm up for it now.

things are stable. i know where i stand.
i know what my life is now.
there's no drama, there's no scandal.

now i kind of hope this next year is eternal.
i need time to fix things at my own pace.

& how will i end this year?

HAAAAY!

kay, eating some pizza hut and then getting ready to go out.