on the black sand, the black sand,

black saaaaand.

so i'm blogging for the third time in like 12 hours. dgaf.

i'm unpacking and looking through everything. i've been back home since last march, and i didn't unpack until tonight.
it's part of the healing process.
i wasn't ready to heal.
i wasn't ready to face dropping out of school.
i had not moved on to any thing.
until now, at which point i was ready to unpack.
i don't feel like a total idiot about it anymore.
i love the fact that i can accept everything now.
i know everything that happened, i understand everything that happened.
i live with my decisions.
most of all, i'm glad 2007 is in the past.
2008 served the purpose of getting 2007 away from me.
i can't even say "last year" anymore.
it's a wonderful thing to be so distant in time from something so undesirable.

i pet my goldfish today. it was the freakiest thing ever.
it fell on the floor. what an idiot.
he's chillin now, swimming around like "wtf i can see. wtf. hey andie!"
HEY JJ!
whatever, i'm glad i pet my fish. i needed to ~bond with it.

that fish is a fighter.
i don't feed it on a regular basis, i don't clean his water on a regular basis, i let him fall onto the kitchen floor, etc. i mean srsly. i would've died by now.
i've had JJ for 2 and a half months now. haaaay. idk if e's bigger than he was, or anything. he kind of seems bigger.
i wonder if he'll survive for very much longer.

no, he's definitely bigger. i'm not even looking at the screen at all, just looking at the fish.
he's trying to eat, but i only gave him a little bite of food. i guess i'll give him more. he deserves it, that little survivor. you go jj coco.